Meditation is a practice that helps people to cultivate mindfulness and mental stillness. It can also help people to learn to redirect their negative thoughts and feelings.

To get started with meditation, find a quiet place that’s free from distractions. Choose a comfortable position-sitting in a chair, lying down, or sitting loosely cross-legged.

It’s not about becoming a different person

Although some meditation practices can make you feel moderately more compassionate or empathic, this is not what it’s about. Meditation is about disarming your own weapons of anger, frustration and self-pity. This results in a natural and harmonious way of being that you can carry with you everywhere. It also enables you to harm people less.

Meditation can help you recognise your negative impulses, habits and reactions in a more refined manner. You might realise, for example, that your little sarcastic remarks that usually get you a laugh are actually pretty toxic; or that you tend to fib about things quite often in order to agree with someone.

Scientific research in this area understandably tends to focus on singular factors of moral functioning — such as self-reported experiences of compassion and feelings of empathy. However, the contemplative traditions from which meditation practices sprang have a much broader perspective on moral development. Rather than focusing on a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ person, they see that everyone has different moral ’parts’ that need to be tuned up.

It’s not about being perfect

It’s no secret that meditation can reduce Hermeticism stress, increase grey matter in the brain and improve concentration, self-esteem, mood and well-being. However, it can take time to find the right style of meditation that works for you.

If you’re a perfectionist, you may feel frustrated with your meditation practice. But it’s important to remember that meditation is not about becoming a different person, or even a better one. Instead, it’s about learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It is also about getting a healthy perspective and understanding what types of thinking patterns are harmful or self-deprecating for you.

If you’re finding it hard to meditate, try taking a look at your schedule and be honest about how much time you can dedicate to the practice each day. You may be surprised to find that meditation can fit in with your busy schedule after all. And don’t forget, gentle, regular practice eventually becomes a nourishing and supportive habit!

It’s not about avoiding your thoughts

The point of meditation is to be present. To do that, you have to bring your attention back to the present moment as often as possible. It may be the breath or a mantra you’re silently repeating, but it could also be whatever is happening in the room and around you.

Human brains are not designed to focus on a single set of perceptions to the exclusion of all others, and that’s okay. Your job is to notice when your thoughts go haywire, and then to gently (and patiently) bring them back to the subject at hand.

Of course, it’s not always easy. Some people get very distracted and may experience anxiety during or after meditation. It’s not a sign of failure, though, as researchers have pointed out that a variety of factors may be at play in these cases, including the intensity of the practice, the competence of the teacher, and whether or not the person is predisposed to mental health disorders.

It’s not about trying to force it

Trying to force meditation can lead to the opposite of its intended results. Instead of calming the mind, it can become more agitated and restless. This is because the goal of meditating is not to suppress or empty the mind; it’s about letting go of resistance and learning to observe the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that come up.

The best way to do this is to find a quiet place free of distractions. You can listen to soothing music or nature sounds, or simply sit in a chair or on the floor with a pillow or cushion supporting you.

The important thing is to find a practice that works for you, and commit to it consistently. Rather than feeling like a chore, meditation can become a gentle, supportive practice that helps you cope with life’s challenges. It may take a bit of trial and error to find the right type for you, but the rewards can be well worth it.